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catcall
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Quote catcall Replybullet Posted: 11/Oct/2008 at 11:18am
LOLLOL....
 
 

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

  1. Four - One to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination. (left a bit, right a bit, left a bit...)
  2. None, bankers don't change light bulbs.
  3. Ever notice that the electronic bank signs are full of burned-out light bulbs?
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate-when he can't afford it and when he can-Happy investing!
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kulman
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Quote kulman Replybullet Posted: 12/Oct/2008 at 12:10pm
LOL ha ha ha

Q: How many leaders of industrialised nations does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Seven (G-7). One to hold the bulb and other 6 to rotate the house.

Life can only be understood backwards—but it must be lived forwards
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catcall
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Quote catcall Replybullet Posted: 12/Oct/2008 at 9:37pm
OK, so here's the ultimate (with apologies to TED)Smile
 
How many TED subscribers (including visitors) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 1,331:
  • 1 to change the light bulb and to post on TED  that the light bulb has been changed.
  • 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
  • 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
  • 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
  • 53 to flame the spell checkers
  • 156 to write to the administrator (Basantiji) complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness on this thread.
  • 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
  • 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this irrelavant discussion on a different thread. 
  • 203 to demand that all postings on TED about changing light bulbs be stopped.
  • 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant, especially in this difficult economic times.
  • 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
  • 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
  • 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
  • 3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
  • 33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
  • 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy.
  • 19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
  • 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
  • 1 to propose new thread suggesting the ill effects of such a discussion on such a serious discussion forum (Guess Who!!).
  • 47 to say that light bulbs are outdated and leave it here.
  • 143 votes for suggesting a poll vote here on the boarders on this thread who cross-checked the number of TEDs sub-totalled here with the grand total at the top.
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate-when he can't afford it and when he can-Happy investing!
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catcall
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Quote catcall Replybullet Posted: 02/Jan/2009 at 7:35pm

Azim Premji's secrets for success

# The biggest enemy of future success is past success. When you succeed, you feel that you must be doing something right for it to happen. But when the parameters for success changes,doing the same things may or may not continue to lead to success.

# We invested in uncompromising integrity that helped us take difficult stands in some of themost difficult business situations.

# Routines represent our own zones of comfort. There is a sense of predictability about them.They have structured our time and even our thought in a certain way. While routines are useful, do not let them enslave you. Deliberately break out of them from time to time.

# Life's battle does not always go to the person who is stronger and faster. The person who wins is the person who thinks he can.

# Always keep in mind that it is only the test of fire that makes fine steel.

# As you get bigger, you have to learn to delegate. It is also an excellent way to get staff involved in the company's operations.

# It requires courage to keep dreaming. And that is when dreams are most needed -- not when everything is going right, but when just about everything is going wrong.

# You cannot fire a missile from a canoe. Unless you build a strong network of people with complimentary skills, you will be restricted by your own limitations.

# Everyone feels the fear of unknown. Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to manage fear without getting paralyzed. Feel the fear, but move on regardless.

# Guard against complacency all the time. Complacency makes you blind to the early signals from the environment that something is going wrong.

# If you are always in the company of cynics, you will soon find yourself becoming like them.A cynic knows all the reasons why something cannot be done.

# Take your time to decide what your core values are. Once you do, do not compromise on them for any reason. Integrity is one such value.

# Nobody can make us feel inferior without our consent.

# Change descends on every one equally; it is just that some realise it faster. Some changes are sudden but many others are gradual. While sudden changes get attention because they are dramatic, it is the gradual changes that are ignored till it is too late. You must have all heard of story of the frog in boiling water. If the temperature of the water is suddenly increased, the frog realises it and jumps out of the water. But if the temperature is very slowly increased, one degree at a time, the frog does not realise it till it boils to death. You must develop your own early warning system, which warns you of changes and calls your attention to it. In the case of change, being forewarned is being forearmed.

# Spend time with people who have a 'can-do' approach. Choose your advisors and mentors correctly.

# We need an open mind to look at things in a different way and allow new inputs to come in.Otherwise, there is a real danger of becoming complacent or even downright arrogant.

# We must remember that succeeding in a changing world is beyond just surviving. It is our responsibility to create and contribute something to the world that has given us so much.

# If you do not take enough risks, you may also be losing out on many opportunities. Thinkthrough but take the plunge. If some things do go wrong, learn from them.

# Some people follow the beaten path. Few take the road less travelled. Yet others choose to create their own path.

# If you succeed 90 percent of the time, you are doing fine. If you are succeeding all the time,you should ask yourself if you are taking enough risks.

Delegating authority and responsibility speeds things up and gets decisions made faster. Itempowers people more, and it allows them to further empower those who report to them,because their jobs have suddenly become much more responsible.

# I don't think customer relationships are really owned. The customer is a remarkably selfish person: He takes the relationship to where the execution is in his favour.

# Any position of power or wealth means an enormous responsibility of trusteeship. The higher the share price goes, the higher becomes the expectation from investors, on the company, to perform. If the price rises to unrealistic levels, it will lead to unrealistic expectations.

# Exercise, be active and not lead a sedentary life. A certain physical activity should bemaintained -- walk, skip or jog -- along with a good food diet. That is the only way to de-stress.

# Success requires no explanation and failure permits none. But you need to respect yourself enough so that your self-confidence remains intact whether you succeed or fail.

# Most people wait for something to go wrong before they think of change. It is like going tothe doctor for a check up only when you are seriously sick or thinking of maintaining your vehicle only when it breaks down.

# We should question the customer. Too often we just follow instructions. If we have a pointof view that is different, we should question the customer's instructions and say, "We think what you are asking us to do is wrong; it would be better to do it another way." If we have to fight to make ourselves heard, we should do that because customers won't want product problems to come back three weeks or months or years later.

# We cannot be the best in everything we do. We must define what we are or would like to be best at and what someone else can do better.

 

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate-when he can't afford it and when he can-Happy investing!
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chic_1978
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Quote chic_1978 Replybullet Posted: 09/Jan/2009 at 9:23am

A small touching story mainly for professionals. .. 

 

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door. 

SON: "Daddy, may I ask you a question?" 


DAD: "Yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man. 



SON: "Daddy, how much do you make an hour?" 


DAD: "That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?"  the man said angrily.


SON:  "I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?"


DAD:  "If you must know, I make Rs.100 an hour." 


SON: "Oh," the little boy replied, with his head down. 


SON: "Daddy, may I please borrow Rs.50?"   


The father was furious, "If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I work hard everyday for such this childish behavior."


The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.


The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?


After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that Rs..50 and he really didn't ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.  "Are you asleep, son?" He asked. 



"No daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy. 


"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier" said the man. 


"It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you.. Here's the Rs.50 you asked for." 


The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "Oh, thank you daddy!" He yelled.


Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his father.



"Why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.



"Because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied. 


"Daddy, I have Rs.100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time?

Please come home early tomorrow.. I would like to have dinner with you."



The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and he begged for his forgiveness.



It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. 


Do remember to share that Rs.100 worth of your time with someone you love.

 

 

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.

But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.  And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family.

happy & wise investing
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kulman
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Quote kulman Replybullet Posted: 16/Jan/2009 at 3:24pm

Some tips for being a successful employee...






Life can only be understood backwards—but it must be lived forwards
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catcall
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Quote catcall Replybullet Posted: 28/Jan/2009 at 3:17pm
A dozen ways profits, vaulations...
 
Check this out...
 
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate-when he can't afford it and when he can-Happy investing!
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catcall
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Quote catcall Replybullet Posted: 03/Feb/2009 at 8:53am
A scene in a Corporate Office:
 
A fire alarm rang at 6 PM when almost all shift employees
are in office(approx 5000). As usual entire office was evacuated within
3 mins & all employees gathered outside office. 10 mins
passed..................................5 more mins passed.

Then the HR Officer  Announced, "Dear Employees - With melting
heart I am making this announcement that for many of you it will be a
last evacuation drill, as we are laying off almost 80% employee. While
moving in who-so-ever's ID card does not work are to be understood as layed off & all their
belongings will be  couriered to them tomorrow. We followed this
approach as we don't want to fill email box size with layoff mail in
thousands & also to avoid any fight inside office". Hope you have nice
career ahead.

Please move in & try your luck.

 

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate-when he can't afford it and when he can-Happy investing!
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