Originally posted by smartcat   I have very bad memories of Barbie. When I was a kid, I was caught lifting up its skirt. My brother ran and told everybody at home about what I did.   I'm still traumatized by that incident.

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other   programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't      seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.


I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall ' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.


Please help!


Thanks,
" A Troubled User "



REPLY:



Dear Troubled User :


This is a very common problem that people complain about.


Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that   it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to   run EVERYTHING !!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to   Girlfriend 5.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the   system once installed.


You cannot go back to Girlfriend 5.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed   not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony- Child Support) .


I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the   environment.


I suggest installing the background application " Yes Dear " to   alleviate software augmentation.


The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE    because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.


Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5     and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how   you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5 .


Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend
Sarees 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0.


STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortS kirt 3.3 .. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0   and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Choosing a wife.

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.


The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.Obviously, the man was impressed.The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

Then.........

he married the one with the biggest tits.

Men are like that, you know.

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky b**bs and huge e*ections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui... Biwi ghar main aayi... ghar SWARG ban gaya... aur
main...SWARGWASI. .. ************ ********* ********* ********

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love;
after marriage it is self-defense ************ ********* ********* *********

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?! ************ *********
********* *********

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED. It's like asking
someone, if suicide is better or being murdered ************ *********
********* *********

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS
when not SURE, is WISE.. A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a
HUSBAND.!