Originally posted by catcall When you have a' I Hate My Job' day,try this: Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

ha ha ha!! By the way, Berkshire owns large chunk of J&J shares.

Meanwhile, here's something to think about...

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach , "because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? The a*s hole is usually the one in charge!

Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it's
raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three
people waiting for a bus:

An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
An old friend who once saved your life.
The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there
could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a
job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you
should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and
this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming
up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:

"I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to
the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of
my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought
limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

Question 2: What will you do if I run away with your sister?"

The candidate who was selected answered " I will not get a better match for
my sister than you sir"

Question 3: Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning
you woke up & found that you were pregnant.

Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my
husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it
well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked

Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate.
Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, then he asked what is before you?

Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea"

He got selected.

You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee
was kept before.

(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet)
Reply was "TEA" ( T - alphabet)

Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"

Question 5: The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last
question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the center
of this table where u have kept your files."

Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and
told that this was the central point at the table. Interviewer asked how
did u get to know that this being the central point of this table, then he
answers quickly that sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was
the last question that u promised to ask.....

And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness. ........

This is What Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ....

Some more...

1. How many Lehman employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

- Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up.

2. How many investment bankers does it take to screw in a lightbulb ?

- Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.

3. How many American Presidents does it take to change a lightbulb ?

- None. They all will only promise change.

 

Q: How many derivatives traders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, they don't change bulbs; but the trading price of darkness plummets due to oversupply.





Edited by kulman - 11/Oct/2008 at 9:44am